


Ode to Posterior

by thisissirius



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: (sort of), Jonny is an ass man, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:10:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonny’s always been an ass person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ode to Posterior

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tictactoews](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tictactoews/gifts).



> this was literally titled JONNY BUTT PATRICK HANDS in gdocs, and was written in like, fifteen minutes because MAR MADE ME. also, this is unbetad. i also apologise to jonny if he's not an ass man, but he really can't go around touching patrick's butt and not expect this. 
> 
> probably.
> 
> (i also cannot write porn i am sorry)

The thing is, Jonny doesn’t even mean to do it. 

Jonny’s always been an ass person; he’s pretty sure a lot of people will admit to being the same and it’s not as awesome as he thinks it is, but whatever, Jonny can appreciate an excellent ass. The best thing about hockey players are the asses, not that Jonny is stupid enough to say this anywhere within earshot of, well, anyone actually, but especially not Patrick Kane. It has nothing to do with the fact that one of those asses that he likes to look at so much belongs to Patrick, but that’s _definitely_ not something Jonny’s stupid enough to say. 

Still, the thing _is_ , Jonny didn’t mean to do it. 

Whatever, so Patrick’s just standing there, giving an interview in his under armour, like Jonny’s just supposed to walk past and not do anything. Patrick’s a fucking tease almost all the time, and Jonny’s never been able to resist, even when they weren’t fucking each other. So there’s Patrick’s ass, and Jonny just - well, _pats_ it is the thing. He wants to do more, don’t get him wrong. Maybe hang on a bit and make Patrick really feel it, but from the fucking grin on his face and the way his body tenses - Jonny knows him well enough by now to read the signs - he’s imagining everything that Jonny is. 

He gets into the locker room and absolutely does not meet anyones eyes. He decides it’s probably best, because at times like these, Sharpy somehow manages to read everything Jonny’s ever done in his life in his flushed cheeks and embarrassment, and that is not happening here. He dresses as quickly as he can, even though he’s highly tuned to the fact that Patrick’s walking into the locker room, shit-eating grin on his face and giving Jonny a look that he’s sign a hundred times. Jonny’s told Patrick just as many times that they’re never ever fucking in the locker room, but this is the first time he’s wondered why. 

“So,” Patrick says, leaning against the locker to Jonny’s right, even though his locker is on the _other side of the fucking room_ , and Jonny is trying really hard not to do something. “What was that about?”

Jonny pretends he can’t hear. He grins though, because what the fuck ever, grabbing Patrick’s ass is never going to be wrong. He could choose the setting a little better, but they’ve always been pretty fucking weird, and he’s sure fans will notch this up to another weird-ass interaction between Kane and Toews. What they don’t know can’t hurt them, he supposes. 

Patrick punches Jonny in the arm. “I’m talking to you, asshole.”

The stress on the ‘ass’ is completely unnecessary. “Nothing,” Jonny says, giving Patrick a blinding smile. “Don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Peeksy.”

Patrick flushes at the nickname - as fucking always - but he’s still not glaring, so Jonny’s pretty sure he’s still winning this one. Sort of. “Touching my ass in front of reporters? Slipping there, Toews.”

“Maybe not,” Jonny says.

Patrick flounders a little at that, and Jonny ignores him sufficiently that he stalks away without saying anything else.

\---

Things get worse.

Now that Patrick knows Jonny’s got a thing about his ass, he’s just doing it _deliberately_. Always walking around with no fucking clothes on, and there’s always been a battle in the bedroom for who gets to be on top or whatever the fuck they’re calling it these days, but it’s like Patrick’s content to let Jonny call the shots. 

It’s _driving him crazy_. 

Not calling the shots. Jonny’s always liked winning, and even if this is way too easy, he’s still crowing with joy at coming out on top. Or something. Still, Patrick’s doing it on purpose and Jonny doesn’t know exactly what he wants to do, only that he really wants to do it. 

It’s the playoffs, so he expects a little more craziness than usual, but he walks into the shower to see Patrick _butt naked_ and what the fuck, they are not the only people in this locker room! 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jonny flounders, not really sure what he wants to do, but if they weren’t fucking, he’d probably be shouting or something. “Are you even-”

“Hey Jonny,” Patrick says, like he’s not fucking naked and showing off - _everything_ \- and-

“Please put on some pants,” Jonny says, weakly. 

Patrick makes a face. “I’m in the shower, dude. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“No,” Jonny says, drawing the word out. “But the other guys-”

As if to emphasise Patrick’s point, Shawzy walks into the shower (not naked, Jonny would like to point out), but he just whistles and fist bumps Patrick. _In the shower_. 

Jonny doesn’t run out of the shower, but it’s a pretty sure thing.

\---

“You’re such a dick,” Patrick says cheerfully, rubbing his hair. At least he’s wearing boxers this time, thank god. “Most people wouldn’t make a scene out of someone being naked in the shower.”

“I wasn’t making a scene,” Jonny snaps, because he wasn’t okay, he just can’t be expected to deal with Patrick’s ass when he’s fresh from a game. (Whatever, hockey gets Jonny hot, okay, deal with it.) “You were just-”

He waves a hand to take in Patrick’s body, and Patrick wiggles his eyebrows because he’s an asshole. 

“Fuck off.”

Patrick turns on his heel, _fuck him_ , and shrugs as he walks away. “Whatever man, you just can’t take it.”

\---

“I can fucking take it,” Jonny growls later, when he’s pressing Patrick down into the bed. “Now _you’re_ going to fucking take it.”

There’s a beat and then Patrick bursts out laughing. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Jonny leans down, sinking his teeth into Patrick’s collarbone. The noise Patrick makes goes straight to Jonny’s dick and fuck, this is not what he expected when he grabbed Patrick’s ass. 

Patrick’s nails dig into his shoulders. “You gonna fuck me then, Jonny.”

Jonny tucked his thumbs into the grooves of Patrick’s hipbones. “Turn over.”

Patrick gave him another grin, but didn’t hesitate to comply, flipping over onto his stomach. He arched his back a little, giving Jonny a show. 

“You’re a fucking ass,” Jonny says, low, running his hands over Patrick’s spine, pressing a little harder as he glides over Patrick’s ass. For all of Patrick’s shit talking, he’s surprisingly quiet. “Nothing to say to that?”

Patrick shrugs one shoulder, but he lets out a soft, _fuuuuck,_ when Jonny sinks his teeth into flesh again. Jonny wasn’t lying when he said Patrick’s ass was a fucking delight, but it’s even more so when he’s got it under his hands, under his mouth. Patrick gets desperate for it, noises and curses and grunts as he shoves his hips down into the mattress. He’s rubbing himself off, but Jonny doesn’t care; he’s got everything he wants. 

He drags his teeth lightly across the skin of Patrick’s ass, everywhere except where Patrick’s fucking _begging_ him to be. 

“Jonny,” Patrick whines, high. His fingers are clenched in the sheets, and he’s panting, hips jerking, uncoordinated. 

Finally, smirking, Jonny drags his tongue over puckered skin and Patrick bites down on the pillow, his yell muffled by the fabric. Jonny doesn’t let up, keeps licking, thumbs parting Patrick until he’s got just the right kind of access. He licks, fucks his tongue into Patrick until Patrick is gasping, trembling under his hands. He’s cursing, Jonny’s name interjected by _fuck_ and _shit_ and _please_. 

Patrick’s groans are pained as he drags his dick against the sheets, and Jonny reaches round, licks as he grabs Patrick’s dick, tugs just once. 

Patrick whines, high and loud in the weird silence of the room, and sobs as he comes, hips stuttering. 

Jonny pulls back, grinning, and slaps Patrick’s ass, once, as he shifts back up onto his knees. Patrick groans, and waves a hand in the air. “I’ll be right with you,” he slurs. 

Jonny’s already got his hand on his dick, jerking himself off at the sight of Patrick, sacked out on the bed, and his ass so fucking-

\---

“You’re really into my ass, huh?” Patrick says, far too cockily for someone who’s just come.

“It’s alright.” Jonny doesn’t think he’s fooling anyone, and from the way Patrick shifts back, ass wiggling against Jonny’s pelvis, he knows it too.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, sorry, sorry.
> 
>  


End file.
